I yell. Not often but I do yell at the kids on the rare occasion. I do not think of myself as a bad mom because I have resorted to raising my voice when my kids are out of hand. In fact, a couple of moms have shared yelling is a great pastime of motherhood and the children would be robbed of proper upbringing if it were removed. I assume screaming and cursing would be considered taboo however yelling as a means of coercing desired behaviors is acceptable.
In my week of "no yelling" I realized I raise my voice when I've lost patience. My patience threshold is something to be noted as I've been told; so those rare times patience is not my friend are the times that I did not spent enough quality time with my pillow, also known as exhaustion. So comes the challenge to get enough rest so that I don't introduce myself in the morning as "Grumpy Mommie".
Right, sleep. Okay so how do I get enough sleep. That is another story but it just so happened my nursing baby started sleeping through the night when I accepted this challenge. Three cheers for Amaya!
I decided that the technique of coercion is not my greatest joy in life and especially when it hurts those I'm supposed to protect. From what I can recall, I made it the one week challenge to not yell at my kids as suggested by Veronica Webb on her blogsite.
At the end of the week as I reflected on this challenge I realized that yelling is easy because we use it as a source of power. Yet, this power that we derive seems to be primarily used on children, our own children. Not the grocery store clerk that charged our ATM twice, the telemarketer that calls at the perfect time, driver that cuts you off at the stop sign, bank teller that won't reverse that fee.
Why is it acceptable to yell at our own children?
I want to find another form of communication with I speak with my children. Most importantly, I want children that respect me and love me as I do love them.
Give it a try, you might surprise yourself.
Love and Respect.
These are my stories and thoughts of the adventures becoming a mom of two. The sort of things that a mom encounters everyday.
Love your cute blog! Love all your goals! Writing them down is the first step to success!! I'm so behind on our family blog is quite embarrassing!!
ReplyDeleteThat's why I'm on here right now to add a post!
love your guts and I have your jewelry you ordered! Let me know what you want to do -k-
jc
It's tough. I have accepted the challenge, and I try. What I find most difficult is that both child and unhusband IGNORE me until I get that tone, the tone that I'm getting upset.
ReplyDelete"I shouldn't have to raise my voice for you to listen" is my mantra.
Great post. I have read that this generation of parents are screamers. In fact I've posted on this myself. :D Great minds.
@Lindsey-
ReplyDeleteGood point that we are the generation of screamers. I have found myself screaming because I wasn't getting the attention I needed from my daughter. Then because yelling is so exhausting I started to ask her if she could hear me and a yes would end with me asking why isn't she following directions. But like you, I don't want to yell or have to resort to "that tone".
Great minds indeed.